Tonglen; A Meditation Prayer for the Heart of Our Life

   

In my Christian understanding of prayer, I petition my Holy One to care for my family and friends that are in need of inner guidance or health or for the needs of a suffering world.  I petition for myself, perhaps sitting in quiet prayer with the Sacred, my Beloved, to channel wisdom, strength, and understanding of a trying situation.

In my study of Buddhism I learned about another kind of prayer, if you will, called Tonglen.  It is a process of "taking on, and giving out."  It is also called the meditation of "Sending and Taking."

Tonglen is a meditation done in conjunction with our breathing, and in relation to our family, friends and even those with whom we are in conflict, perhaps those we might call our enemies… to all beings, we gather them to our self... into our heart.  

As we breathe out, we imagine that with the exhalation goes all our happiness and all the causes of our happiness, all the good karma that we have, we send out in the form of white light or white smoke.  We send this out to all beings to touch them, so that they might obtain happiness, peace, well being and loving kindness. 

As we breath in, we imagine that all the suffering, the causes of suffering and the bad karma that others are experiencing, are drawn into our hearts in the form of darkness or black smoke. This darkness enters and merges into us, so we imagine the taking on of suffering of other beings.

In the beginning there can be fear and trepidation of doing this form of prayer.  Why should I take on more suffering and pain than I already have?  We begin to "feel" what it is like for other beings to be burdened, to be hungry, sick, or alone.  It is a way of "feeling" the suffering of others, and then "releasing" it.  Of bringing this suffering into our hearts, healing it, and then letting it go.

Remain always mindful of the taking and sending of this process. 

I thought about this meditation and way of prayer after a conversation I had this week with my son, and also with knowing the burdens all my children are carrying these days.  As a parent, I want to lessen my children's suffering and I want to send them joy and peace.  I want this for all children, for all my friends and family.  But to take on their burdens seems an overwhelming task and perhaps even more than I can or want to handle.

In my spiritual direction resources I recently read about a mentor that suggests Tonglen practice as a way of working with the spiritual needs of his clients.  He suggests that we tell the person whom we want to hold in our heart, we will carry half of their burden for them for a short while as a respite for them.  He suggests we ask them to imagine what it would feel like and what it would be for them to have someone carry half their burden.  We can't actually change the burden, but lessen the weight.  Only life will change the burden, only coming events, choices, actions will change what we have to carry and what we can give away.

This is not a practice for all people.  We must individually know ourselves and our limitations.  But if you can imagine taking on even a small portion of a loved one's burden (or any burden) through this process of prayer and meditation, it will begin to expand your heart energy.

Pema Chodron says we can do Tonglen at anytime and for any person in any situation.  She says,  "So on the spot you can do Tonglen for all the people who are just like you, for everyone who wishes to be compassionate but instead is afraid, for everyone who wishes to be brave but instead is a timid. Rather than beating yourself up, use your own stuck-ness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as a medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings." 

By doing Tonglen Meditation on a regular basis, we will let go of negativity, open the heart center, and develop clear thinking that leads to wise choices.  Tonglen Meditation helps us to deal effectively with difficult people and stressful situations. If more of us replace negativity with compassion and wisdom, we will heal ourselves, each other, and the world. These last words are from a website I would recommend you to use to help you do Tonglen:     http://www.tc.umn.edu/~camer008/meditation.tonglen.html

I am taking in my children's pain and suffering and sending them light, joy, peace, and the knowledge that "nothing is forever…" except my love.

Some of this information was taken online from the Oral Instructions on the Karma Pakshi Practicegiven by Thrangu Rinpoche‚ to the retreatants of Samye-Ling, December 1993.